Business Writing @ Purdue

Peer Feedback on Draft 1 of the Original White Paper.

In giving feedback, keep in mind the task that each group has for revising this document and where they are in the drafting process. Obviously, you should avoid proofreading and editing comments. Try to address the following:

• Do the authors' adhere to generic conventions. (See White Paper Format section below.)
• Analyze the structure of the paper. Could any section(s) or paragraph(s) be reorganized? Considering the outline of the various sections given by the headings, is the overall structure the best way to organize the paper?
• Point out which sections in the paper you feel are most important and least important. Since the paper will be heavily reduced in length, describe sections/paragraphs that might be summarized or eliminated all together.
• Note wherever the writing is unclear to you or where you feel something needs to be explained more. Were there any concepts or terms that you did not understand? Are there any particular areas in the paper which deserve to be expanded because you feel they are important topics?
• Note in the paper anywhere where you feel the authors are stating their own opinions rather than reporting on what their research says.
• Note any problems you might observe with how the paper fits the white paper genre.
• Important: Since documentation of sources is a critically important aspect of professional research, if you notice any citation problems in APA or MLA format, point them out to the authors.

Features of White Papers

White papers have several important components, each of which should be clearly identifiable so that readers can move quickly through a document the first time and review it later with a glance at its major components.

• Title page. The title page lists the official title and subtitle, the names and positions of the authors, and any sponsoring organizations or companies. Some writers also choose to include a short table of contents on the title page or the page immediately following.
• Executive summary. The executive summary is often placed on the title page so that readers can decide quickly whether they need to read further. These summaries are informative, listing the essential points, rather than descriptive. Descriptive summaries only “announce” what’s coming laterwithout giving precise details. An executive summary needs to state the essential conclusions and critical facts right from the start.
• Body or argument. The body of a white paper is broken into chunks, each part representing one piece of the larger puzzle. The body of a white paper may have several levels of headings so that information can be clearly divided and subdivided into logical units. All headers should be descriptive rather than generic. (In Table 1, you’ll see a comparison of descriptive and generic headers) Descriptive headers help readers remember the main points of the white paper.
• Conclusion. A white paper may or may not have a formal conclusion that sums up the topic. If the issue remains unsettled, it can be helpful to readers to indicate that in a concluding section. Writers may mention what questions remain to be answered. Above all, it is important not to take sides on a position too obviously lest a reader believe all of the information presented is biased (even if it may indeed be so).
• Bibliography. White papers are always careful to document their sources using standard citation practices (often APA, MLA, or Chicago Style). The bibliography must include all sources cited in the white paper and may also include critical sources “For Further Reading” that would help readers learn more.

Headings in a White Paper Should Be Descriptive

Table 1. Descriptive vs. Generic Headers in White Papers

* Excerpted from a draft of The Thomson Handbook: A Writer’s Reference for the Digital Age by David Blakesley and Jeff Hoogeveen.Please do not cite or circulate without permission of the authors.